The Email Not Sent

You can write it a thousand times and still not send it. It’s THE email. You know the one. The email where you lay out your feelings and emotions in a raw genuine way that exposes your soul and says everything you wanted to say to your narcissistic ex but didn’t.

You thought it through and weighed whether it was simply to make yourself feel better and hurt him, her, or the other person who doesn’t even realize they’re involved, or whether it was something everyone needed to hear. You weighed whether it would release you or keep you bound in the chaos and drama that envelopes a narcissist and all who love or are in any way a part of their life. You thought it through. Perhaps you even prayed on it and in the end, it was an email not sent. Not because it wasn’t true, but because doing so was pointless.

You didn’t send it because you’ve grown and you realize no number of words, nor actions or inactions will change what happened and who he or she is. You realized your peace and happiness was so much more important than words that themselves will go unrealized, unnoticed, and unfelt by the person for whom they were intended. Most important, you realized you love yourself too much to waste any more time on a person who never really loved you in return. Narcissists live in an alternate reality that will never align with truth and honesty and you know that, so, it was an email never sent.

That sweet girl, is healing. That is where you chose the fork in the road that leads to redefining your life. You chose grace and dignity, beauty and peace and happiness over chaos and drama. You chose yourself, your child(ren), family and friends over short lived moments of happiness that quickly turn to lies and deceit. You chose YOU! Now it’s time to work on creating your redefined life and it’s going to be AMAZING!